Fuck your Christian values

I do not understand how American politics has come down to voting for the most Christian candidate. We are a country founded on freedom of religion. How is it that we are now inundated with ads saying to pick the man with your similar convictions in Christ? How does that translate to the Jewish voters? The Muslim voters, because as much as the Christian Right wants them gone they are here and they do vote. I just do not understand how we have come so far from the rights and reasons that the country was established on.

There are a few things you should know about me:

1. I fucking love puppies.

2. I can bake like mother fucking Betty Crocker.

3. I cook like a fucking boss.

4. Sloths are amazingly adorable.

5. I fucking love my Auburn Tigers, win or lose.

6. Jack is the best fucking pal a girl can have.

7. Homework on the weekend fucking sucks massive ass.

One semester (almost) down, One more to go

Next Wednesday I will register for my last semester of my undergraduate career. It has taken me four years to get to this point and in some ways I feel like I'm prepared to take on the world and in other ways I feel as if it's all been a joke. I'm getting writing samples and personal statements and letters of recommendation ready for graduate school applications. I'm making appointments to meet with the University of Alabama (holy fuck I can't believe I might actually apply to a program at Alabama) graduate school in Anthropology and Louisiana State University physician assistant school. I'm not interviewing just meeting with them to learn more about each program. Interviews will hopefully come later. I'm doing well in all my classes so far. It's October which means the fall semester is almost over. It surprises me how the last few years the semesters seem to drag by but now that I'm almost done it seems to fly.

I visited with N.O.G. this weekend. It was fabulous as always. I'm a little sad to be back home. Jack missed me terribly and showed it by destroying anything he could get his mouth on. I was sad to leave him. Hopefully one day N.O.G. and Jack and I can all be together in our own little place in Los Angeles. I think Jack would love the endless sunshine.

Coach! is turning a year in a couple of weeks. He is turning into an adorable toddler. I can't wait to see him and the rest of the family. Well, except the ones that drive me crazy. But I doubt she will be there since her new (skeezy) boyfriend isn't invited.

It's getting close to Halloween. Do you have your costume picked out?

Fuck

Shadowed a PA yesterday at one of the local hospitals. It was fun, fast-paced, exciting. All the things that I thought it would be.

Now I want to be a PA and not a medical anthropologist.

I wish someone could make this decision for me.

Sigh

I hate when everything is falling into place but there is one hang up.

I'm struggling with a class right now. I don't want to be in the class. I just want to be done with it, make a passing grade, and forget all that it taught me.

The class has made me disappointed in myself. It's making me depressed.

Jack isn't happy with me. I spend more time studying than anything else. I can't seem to manage my time to include every day life. I feel like I'm neglecting everyone and those that I do talk to, I feel like all I do is complain and cry about my life as if they have nothing going on.

I want to get my masters and ph.d in medical anthropology. I don't want to go to PA school at all. I'm tired of hearing my mother say just go to nursing school as if it's a simple fix that will make me happy. I'm tired of hearing others tell me how my life should go when it comes to my career path. I want to be happy once I finish my education. I don't want to spend the next few years struggling to graduate with a degree in a field that will make me hate my days.

I just want to apply to Anthropology master programs, move closer to N.O.G., and come home from school/work and play with my dog. Is that really too much to ask for?

Because I don't have a shit ton of stuff to do.

• It's the fourth week of school and the first round of exams are happening. 
• Jack is not happy with study time. 
• I hate having to be at work at 8 am. 
• My boss is driving me crazy.
• Shop-a-holic is putting the house up for sale.
• Graduation happens next semester.
• I can't find anyone that needs help with research for shit.
• I start shadowing a PA in cardiology next week.
• I'm going to LA in October.
• I'm seeing my family this weekend.
• Coach! turns a year old in October.
• BONES starts back next week.
• I think I have seasonal affective disorder.
• I actually have a senior project topic that I'm super interested in.
• I'm beyond broke.
• I'm sick of politics.
• I'm sick of other peoples opinion.
• I kick ass at scramble with friends and I consider it my only accomplishment some days.
• I cheat like shit at words with friends with certain people and I have no guilty conscious about it at all.
• I'm retaking the GRE this Thursday.
• I'm applying for graduate schools this month.
• I still can't decide if I want to be a PA or a medical anthropologist.
• I am not freaking out about my age and my non-married status like all of my facebook friends that are my age and single are doing.

I think that is pretty much all that is going on right now. It will change next week and the week after. But it feels good just getting it out there for the moment.

Time Flies When You Have a Dog

I was going to write a depressing entry about how my dad sucks on Father's Day then I decided against it. Mainly because it kind of depressed me and because I'm pretty sure you guys realize how much I dislike my father without another blog all about him.

N.O.G. will be visiting me at the end of this month. I'm so excited! I've been trying to think of things to do but I realized the other day that I will be beyond broke, which isn't abnormal but this go round I'm seriously broke. So, I'm not sure what we will do besides hide out in a dark room to keep from melting.

School is actually going well. I made a B in Spanish I and so far I've got an A in my Native American Cultures class. I started Spanish II Tuesday night. The instructor is an interesting man from the Dominican Republic. I hope to make a B in this class.

Jack is doing fabulous. Other than the fact that he hates for me to be out of his sight. He doesn't like for me to shut the bathroom door unless he is in the bathroom with me. At first I thought that it was because his food is in there. But when I moved his food he continued to be upset if we were separated. Not sure if its because he is a rescue or if I've just spoiled him. Most likely because I have spoiled him.

He watches me take a bath. Most times he sleeps but sometimes he just stands there and stares at my face. He also figured out how mirrors work so he will watch me through the mirror. That is kind of creepy.

He also found his bark. Before he would only bark at me if he wanted something. But now he barks just because he can. I had to finish my anthro midterm last Sunday and he was not happy that I was busy not playing with him. 

                                     

He will know bark for anything. The other day I was home in the afternoon and started watching The Haunted on Animal Planet. It's a show about a house or place that is haunted and how animals can sense when something isn't right. I hate/love shows like that. Whenever the music starts getting intense I change the channel because I'm freaking out but I want to see what happens so I turn it back quickly. Well, in the middle of the show when it was getting pretty intense Jack starts barking like crazy and looking out the back door. I thought my heart stopped for a minute. It took me five minutes to figure out that he could see the neighbors doing yard work. I wanted to kill him for the mini heart attack.

He is also becoming a giant. I was seriously concerned that he might be mixed with a Great Dane because he just keeps getting taller. But the other day we were at the dog park and a Dane was there. Jack looks nothing like he did so I feel a little better. I met a girl there that told me that her vet said to double the weight they are at four months and that is roughly their weight at full maturity. Jack was about 35 or 40 pounds so I'm guessing he will be between 60 to 80 pounds. (!!!!) Here is a picture of him with his favorite toy, Greenie McGreenerstern.

My parents bought a beautiful house on the lake. A few weekends ago all of my siblings and I were able to visit. It's the first time we have all been together in a long time. Everyone is doing well and looking fabulous. Attention Hog got this fabulous picture of The Kid and Coach! I'm so happy to call them mine!

Have a great summer!

8:30 is way too early to discuss life plans

Lake time has official started. Except I'm not at the lake. I'm at a Panera Bread drinking an awful strawberry smoothie waiting for Tweaker Who Found Jesus to get out of class. Yay vacation time!

Poor Jack has been stuffed in a kennel or the back seat of the car for at least 20 hours in the past two days. I feel so bad. When I make it home this afternoon he and I will have some serious running around time.

Summer semester begins May 29 which also happens to be the day I take the GRE. As I enjoy my not so yummy smoothie I will be taking a practice test. Hopefully I do better than I did on the last practice test.

I have been seriously considering changing my graduate school goal. So far I am sucking it up masterfully at my biology classes. I dominate my Literature and Anthropology classes. I will graduate with a degree in Applied Sciences so I won't fall into that dreadful Liberal Arts category that everyone makes fun of however for grad school I am considering going the Anthropology route. I'm sucking at the bio stuff right now because I'm over school. Every semester since I started I have taken some form of biology or chemistry and I'm so very very tired of those classes. On the other hand my lit classes are amazing because they are classes like Literature and History of the Civil Rights Movement or 19th Century Philosophy/Literature Theory. How cool do those classes sound?! My anthropology classes are Political Anthropology or Native American Civilizations. Everyone wants to know more about the Mayans and that damn calender, right? The bio classes are genetics or cell bio or microbio. Who wants to take those classes when you can learn more about F. Scott Fitzgerald or the Creek Indians. Not this girl, that's for sure. So, I've been doing research on grad schools that have a Physical Anthropology masters/Ph.D programs. If I could find a program that has bioanthropology or public health and physical anthropology or disease anthropology (which is what I would really love to find) then I might just toss the whole Physician's Assistant goal. And the absolute best part about anthropology grad school is that there is no minimum GRE score. I have a 4.0 anthropology gpa so even if I completely bombed the GRE there is a really awesome chance that I could get into a really amazing program at schools like UT Knoxville, where the Body Farm is located or UC Santa Barbara which has an Integrative Anthropological Studies program where you kind of create your own degree so I could do the disease anthropology. There are so many choices and when I think of going this route I feel a lot more inspired and hopeful. As of right now I still have the gpa to get into PA school but I would need to do really well on the GRE. I think when the fall semester comes around and I begin the application process I will apply to PA schools but I will also apply to a few schools with really awesome anthropology programs and make my decision on where I'm accepted. I feel pretty good about that plan. For now.

I don't normally watch reality tv because I think it is totally dumbing down America but I can't for the life of my not watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I think because those bitches are crazy. But I have learned something from Teresa and the gang and that is to respect your inlaws. I've written about my sister -in-law a few times on here and the issues that I have with her but no more. She loves my brother, he loves her, and they created a beautiful child together. I will forever more respect her and treat her with respect regardless of what she does or says. My tongue might be bleeding by the end of the day but I will do this goddammit.

New Orleans Guy sent me cake pops yesterday mainly because I badgered the fuck out of him, partly because I send him pictures of my boobs, and a little bit because he misses me. Whatever the reason, he sent me really awesome chocolate cake pops. He is definitely a keeper.

Summertime!

Things I love about Summer:

• Sunshine 
• The beach
• The lake
• Family holidays
• Food from those family holidays
• Lighter class load
• More hours at work
• Less idiot freshman on campus
• Longer days
• Jack's happiness to be outside in the sunshine

Things I hate about Summer:

• Humidity
• All the people at the beach
• All the people at the lake
• The family after 24 hours on holidays
• The weight I gain from all the food on holidays
• Actually having to go to class
• Actually having to go to work
• Idiot transient students who take the place of freshman on campus
• The sun coming up at the butt crack of dawn
• Jacks happiness about being outside in the sweltering heat

So basically I'm a fickle bitch that loves and hates summertime for the exact same reasons. I hope y'all are enjoying/bitching about the season as much as I am!

Top Five Awesome Reasons You Should Have A Dog

Hello all. It's been ridiculously crazy with school and new puppy and life stuff. This semester is almost over and that means that I'm even closer to graduating! On one hand I feel like I've been in school forever but on the other hand it seems like it hasn't been enough time to learn everything for graduate school. I will take the GRE the last week of May and I'm so ready to have it over and done with so I can apply for grad schools. Sigh.

On to the title:

Top Five Awesome Reasons You Should Have A Dog
(A shelter/pound puppy specifically)
1. They are tiny and happy and so excited to go home with you.
Jack was skeptical of the grass when I brought him home from Lake Martin Animal Shelter. He laid down and rubbed his belly on it for about five minutes before he would walk around. It took him about twenty minutes before he made it across the yard to explore. Eventually he found a Frisbee and became an extra happy boy. 

2. They make friends with everyone.
We visited my parents and my beautiful cousin brought her cutie, Brody, for a visit also. He and Jack  quickly became BFFs and ran full speed around the yard chasing one another. Now, saying that dogs make friends with everyone is kind of a lie. Jack and I have had some difficulty at the local dog park. Mainly because other humans don't have control over their dogs as well as they should in an unleashed environment. Jack is a puppy. He still has all of those cute puppy features. He has no idea when he might be in a little bit of danger which means other dogs take advantage of his carefree attitude. But for the most part, everyone, human and dog alike, have found him to be a happy boy that they can run around and have a good time with.

3. They are so fucking cute!
Jack can basically do anything and he is cute. Takes a bath...cute. Plays with a toy...cute. Pees outside...totes cute. Peeks in the window to see if I'm watching him...adorable. Wishes people happy birthday...off the charts with cuteness. 

4. They play with toys and take walks which means you throw the toys and go for walks which ALSO means you stay in shape!

Every single day we have to take a walk or else Jack is wired and goes non stop until it's bedtime. While he is going non stop he wants me to play with him which interferes with study time. So, walks and ball throwing and rope pulling every day. Jack makes it about a mile or so before he just gives up and stretches out and I have to bribe him with belly rubs and treats in order to get back to the house. It's also adorable.

5. The simplest things make them incredibly happy.

An empty vitamin bottle equals hours of play time. A broken branch becomes the best chew toy on the face of the earth. A towel makes him happy AND gets him dry. Today I bought a twenty dollar plastic swimming pool. Jack stayed in it for about 3 hours. If this guy gets any happier he will just pee all over himself all day. (Also, he figured out how to jump in the chair at some point. No idea when that happened.)

Alright, so if the absolutely adorable picture of Jack haven't convinced you to adopt a shelter pet then you don't have a heart. End of story.

Why can't Spring Break be real life?

I visited N.O.G earlier this week. It was my first trip to Los Angeles. I'm completely in love with California. I keep begging N.O.G. to let me run away and stay with him. He says not until I finish school. What a loser.

He took me so many different places I can't even remember half of them. He pointed out different things and told me that I have a really great poker face because he couldn't tell if I was enjoying myself. In my head I was freaking the fuck out thinking OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS AWESOME. He took me to an amazing restaurant that overlooked the city. It was breathtaking. We ate tons of food that was not in the least bit healthy and we watched way too much tv in bed. It was the most wonderful time I have had in a really long time. I can't wait to see him again and for my next visit out there.

I adopted a pound puppy. His name is Jack. He is a lab mix and he loves to eat leaves and acorns. I bought him way too many toys but that's what you do when you get a new pet. Daisy is very bitter that a new animal has been brought into her domain. She took one look at him and puffed her fur out and stalked back into Flight Risks bedroom. She has come out a few times to eat then immediately goes back to the room. It should be an interesting transition for her.

School and work start back tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it at all.

I'm going to leave you guys with two awesome pictures. Both subjects are awesome and adorable and I'm so happy they are mine!

 This kid is so damn happy it's ridiculous.

 This dog is so damn good looking it's ridiculous.

Today...

I woke up late.
I was late to work.
I hate school.
I want a coke so bad I will slit a bitch's throat for one.
I can't concentrate on school readings.
I have heart burn.
I hate my boss.
I saw the fattest baby in Alabama.
I have the cutest little boy tapping me on the shoulder to fix his computer every twenty minutes.
I forgot my book for my research class and need to take a quiz.

Fuck Wednesdays.

Fat Tuesday

I decided to give up soda. I had my last coke for lunch today.

No class today. I'm trying to find the motivation to clean my room and study. So far I haven't found any so I'm laying in bed.

I'm leaving for LA in 17 days to visit with N.O.G. I'm beyond excited.

Nothing else is really going on around here. The weather sucks. School is the same as ever. Work is boring. Blah blah blah.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Shrove Tuesday.

Rant of the day

I sincerely hate the girls on campus that wear Uggs, nike shorts, and sweatshirts or long sleeve shirts. It is NEVER so cold that you need Uggs AND so warm that you need shorts. NEVER. Wake up ten fucking minutes earlier and pick out a decent fucking outfit. That simple.

That is all. Thanks for listening.

I got 99 post...

so I had to write something to make it a hundred because I'm a nerd.

I hope everyone had a great day! I'm off to dreamland.

Have you seen my big girl panties?

First week of class is over and done with. Genetics is going to kill me.

Shop-a-holic sent me a text this morning saying that she needs 90$ for the Home Owners Association fee asap. I feel like since I'm renting this place and since I can't go to a meeting or argue against a notice that I should not have to pay the 90$. I sent her a text saying that and her response was, I understand where you are coming from but I also don't jack up the rent like other places do. Well, fuck you too. I wanted to reply with, I understand where YOU are coming from but I didn't buy a house with a douche bag that I was engaged to only to have the relationship end two weeks before the wedding date (Big fucking surprise!) AND then take a promotion five hours away from where I bought said house. Also, fuck you because I didn't have to move in to help your bitch ass out. But I didn't. Because I'm a giant pussy that lost my big girl panties somewhere during the move from my apartment to the house with two closets and a giant bath tub. I suck I know.

I've been spending a lot of time at the gym and I haven't notice a single fucking change. I go and sweat my ass off on the elliptical or treadmill, suffering through shin splints and watching girls with tight asses barely work out, and I see no change! Flight Risks says she can see a difference but I think she is just being nice so I will continue to cook dinner for her.

Loan money comes in this week so I get to buy a new pair of running shoes and a plane ticket to LA to see NOG. Pretty excited about both of those things.

My class schedule this semester is set up where I only have to be on campus Tuesday and Thursday. But then my boss went and fucked me over by having me work Monday and Friday from 12:00 to 2:00 and Wednesday from 8:00 to 5:00. I know I should be grateful to have a job and I am. My complaint is that I have been working for the department since August 2008 and I feel like I should have a little more say in how my work schedule is set up. I made my class schedule for Tuesday and Thursday so that I could get all my classes done in two days instead of three or five. I would much rather work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for four or five hours at a time. Not two hours in the middle of the fucking day on Monday and Friday and nine hours on Wednesday. That fucks my whole study schedule up. I'm kind of pissed about it if you can't tell.

I've been trying to figure out what to give up for Lent. I was considering giving up Facebook or Twitter but then SOPA came along and I participated in the black out day and it just about fucking killed me. And I totally cheated because I checked both social networks I just didn't update either one. So, obviously there is no way I can give up either one completely. I guess I will have to keep thinking.

Say No to SOPA and PIPA

Call Congress and let them know you don't agree! TAKE ACTION NOW!

Winter break is slowly coming to an end.

It's the last weekend of winter break. I have class at 9:30 Tuesday morning. This is the last full year of my undergraduate career. I can't decide if I'm happy or excited or terrified or if I just don't give a fuck.

I'm feeling a little out of sorts at the moment. I can't seem to focus on anything. Even writing this I feel so scattered. I can't even pin point what is wrong exactly. I'm a little sad, a little happy, a little cranky, a little nice, and a little mean everyday. My moods seem to shift from hour to hour and I don't know if I'm going to laugh or cry with each passing moment.

The slightest thing hurts my feelings. A misconstrued text, a missed phone call, or a frantic morning at work all bring about this great sense of disappointment.

I cried myself to sleep last night because of a silly friend and a photo of my grandmother. The two aren't connected. The friend hurt my feelings first and then as I was laying down I was reviewing my day when I thought of some of the different things the friend has done in the past that has hurt my feelings. Then I saw a picture of my grandmother. She was smiling and happy and I realized that this March will be twenty years since she died. Twenty years since I last heard her voice, her laughter, felt her hands on my face. Twenty years. I guess the different disappointments of the day caught up with me so I cried until I had the hiccups and then I fell asleep.

Since I'm feeling so out of sorts I've decided that I need to fill every moment of my life with something. Since I don't make much money and I don't have many friends in Mobile I'm going to volunteer. Before you think I'm some super altruistic person you should know that I need volunteer work for grad school applications. I'm hoping that it will occupy my time so that I don't sit around thinking about how shitty it is to have let my grades slip so much that I might realistically not be able to get into graduate school. And I'm hoping that between school, work, and volunteer time I will be so exhausted at the end of the day that I don't think about all the things that went wrong and end the night in hysterics.

I can't seem to focus on anything.

Who needs store bought?!

So, I've decided that my new calling in life is to make seasonal wreaths. Because, let's face it, the medical field just isn't what it use to be.

So far Flight Risk and I have made two wreaths and are working on a third.

The first was for Christmas. It was super simple just a green wreath with dollar store Christmas ornaments.

The second was a Mardi Gras wreath. Because we live in Mardi Gras country and its fun. I made the mistake of adding the ribbon to hang it after I added the mask and feathers. So it's crooked and it is driving me fucking insane. But it's still fun.

The one we are currently working on is for Valentines day. All we've done so far is make some felt flowers for it. It's a major work in progress. I seriously love these flowers and I'm currently trying to figure out how I can add them to pretty much everything I own. Seriously.

Once we finish the Valentine wreath I'll add a picture so you guys can enjoy our genius craft skills.



On another note, I totally want to do this:

to my hair, just the color not the cut. Thoughts?

New year, new blog

I'm starting off 2012 sick. Yay! But I have used up all my allotted bitching and whining time by complaining to NOG so I will not complain during this post. You're welcome.

New year resolutions are...that I'm not making any because I never stick to them. So why bother.

I did a little updating to my class lists. I have to retake physiology because I couldn't answer a 76 point question on how a muscle contracts. Well, and because I basically failed every exam we took. Whatever.

But if you take a look at the classes that I have left to take you will find that there are only four classes, yes FOUR, left before I graduate! I'll end up adding a few more to fill out my schedule but basically I only have four classes that are requirements for me to graduate. I can not believe that I'm this close to graduating. And of course because I am this close I'm entertaining the idea of changing what I want to go to graduate school for. Because I can't pick a goal and follow through with it. I have to get super close to accomplishing it then change it up a bit.

I had a fabulous Christmas as I hope everyone else did. Santa brought me a can opener and a mixer and I was absolutely giddy when I saw them. That's how you know you are getting old, when you are happy to get appliances.

My last post was about PostSecret and the app and how awesome it is and Pro-Life and Pro-Choice. Well, because of certain people posting incredibly inappropriate material the moderator of the app decided to close it and take it off the market. I have seen a lot of people on Twitter expressing how sad they are at not being able to scroll through the secrets at night before bed or first thing in the morning. I agree that it is quite sad to no longer have that connection with millions of people around the world, however, I do feel that taking the app off was necessary due to some of the content. Hopefully the PostSecret team will be able to revamp the app and make it impossible for people to post the dirty stuff.

It looks like I have the next week off from work so I need to figure out how to spend my time. I'm thinking lots of reading, running, and pestering the shit out of NOG since he will actually take the time to entertain my annoying text messages.

Happy New Year!