Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Mundane Monday
I had dinner with a friend tonight at a questionable Chinese establishment. At the end of our meal we opened our fortune cookies to discover that our fortunes were very similar.
That is the highlight of my day. How has yours been?
That is the highlight of my day. How has yours been?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Being pissed and giving thanks
Lately I've been a real bitch. I've been blaming it on the whole "original sin" that Eve committed but really I can't use that excuse because I really don't believe in the Adam and Eve concept because come on, the idea that human kind as we know it was started by this guy that God created out of dust and a woman that was created from the guys rib bone. I mean really. How is that more believable than the scientific proof of evolution. But I'm off topic. Bitchiness.
I spent some time today thinking about the situation. Everything pisses me off lately. I'm pissed because I have to wake up. Pissed because I have to go to class. Pissed because I have to take an exam. Pissed because I have to do homework. Pissed because the cat wants food. Pissed because Flight Risk gets to see Half Boyfriend every day and I don't get to see my guy ever. Pissed because people don't answer my phone call. Pissed because people do answer my phone call. Pissed because I have to clean. Pissed because I have work. Pissed because I have to talk to people. Pissed because I go a day with out talking to people. Pissed because I have to deal with family. Pissed because I have to move. Pissed because I live in a crappy apartment complex. Pissed because I have to make food. Pissed because I have to pay bills. And the list goes on and on and on.
I wake up and 6 out of the 7 days of the week I'm angry as soon as I open my eyes. I have a really bad attitude from the moment my alarm goes off until my brain finally shuts down at the end of the day. I've always been a solitary person which has never bothered me before but when you have a roommate it makes it difficult to not talk to someone that you live with. I'm making Flight Risk super paranoid that she has pissed me off because some days I choose not to allow my bad attitude to effect others so I don't talk.
I don't know how to work through my frustration without being sarcastic or rude or passive aggressive. I'm currently really upset with Incubator Girl and because of that I'm being really rude to Daddy Amazing and to a lesser extent to Dream Crusher. I don't know how to change that right now. The reasons for me being upset with her are silly really. A clash of opinions that doesn't matter at the end of the day. But because I hate confrontation I choose to be pissed off and dwell on the snide comments that she makes instead of being the big girl that I am and calling her out on her attitude. I need to work on this because otherwise I don't get anywhere in the whole not being pissed off situation. And I definitely need to work on not taking my frustration out on the wrong person because that really doesn't accomplish anything.
I'm going to end this by giving a list of things I'm thankful for. Because there is so much in my life that I don't deserve and that I don't give appreciation for. So, here goes: my mom because she does more than she needs to do for all of her children and grandchildren. My step-dad because he also does more than he needs to do for his children and grandchildren. Flight Risk because she deals with my shitty attitude and always goes to get frozen yogurt or cupcakes with me. Half Boyfriend because he takes out the trash without having to be asked. Daisy because she does stupid crazy shit all the time. Shop-a-holic because she makes me laugh and she is letting Flight Risk and I move into her house, where I get a giant bedroom and an even more giant bathroom all to myself. Daddy Amazing because he can be cool at times. Incubator Girl because she is incubating my nephew. (Right now that's all I can be thankful for with her. I'll work on it.) Scholastically Confused because she sends me really fucked up text pictures and we now have a secret text pictogram language. Tweeker who found Jesus because so far she has cleaned her life up and is making a really great effort at being a much better person, daughter, mom, and sister than she ever has in the past. And because she was accepted to college this past week. My grandparents because they are old and awesome. No Show No Call because he makes me laugh when I'm not irritated with him. New Orleans guy because no matter what mood I'm in he will listen to everything I have to say and he always knows the exact right thing to say to make me feel better not only about the situation but about myself also. And he likes my boobs.
I can be nice and I can be in a good mood. I swear.
I spent some time today thinking about the situation. Everything pisses me off lately. I'm pissed because I have to wake up. Pissed because I have to go to class. Pissed because I have to take an exam. Pissed because I have to do homework. Pissed because the cat wants food. Pissed because Flight Risk gets to see Half Boyfriend every day and I don't get to see my guy ever. Pissed because people don't answer my phone call. Pissed because people do answer my phone call. Pissed because I have to clean. Pissed because I have work. Pissed because I have to talk to people. Pissed because I go a day with out talking to people. Pissed because I have to deal with family. Pissed because I have to move. Pissed because I live in a crappy apartment complex. Pissed because I have to make food. Pissed because I have to pay bills. And the list goes on and on and on.
I wake up and 6 out of the 7 days of the week I'm angry as soon as I open my eyes. I have a really bad attitude from the moment my alarm goes off until my brain finally shuts down at the end of the day. I've always been a solitary person which has never bothered me before but when you have a roommate it makes it difficult to not talk to someone that you live with. I'm making Flight Risk super paranoid that she has pissed me off because some days I choose not to allow my bad attitude to effect others so I don't talk.
I don't know how to work through my frustration without being sarcastic or rude or passive aggressive. I'm currently really upset with Incubator Girl and because of that I'm being really rude to Daddy Amazing and to a lesser extent to Dream Crusher. I don't know how to change that right now. The reasons for me being upset with her are silly really. A clash of opinions that doesn't matter at the end of the day. But because I hate confrontation I choose to be pissed off and dwell on the snide comments that she makes instead of being the big girl that I am and calling her out on her attitude. I need to work on this because otherwise I don't get anywhere in the whole not being pissed off situation. And I definitely need to work on not taking my frustration out on the wrong person because that really doesn't accomplish anything.
I'm going to end this by giving a list of things I'm thankful for. Because there is so much in my life that I don't deserve and that I don't give appreciation for. So, here goes: my mom because she does more than she needs to do for all of her children and grandchildren. My step-dad because he also does more than he needs to do for his children and grandchildren. Flight Risk because she deals with my shitty attitude and always goes to get frozen yogurt or cupcakes with me. Half Boyfriend because he takes out the trash without having to be asked. Daisy because she does stupid crazy shit all the time. Shop-a-holic because she makes me laugh and she is letting Flight Risk and I move into her house, where I get a giant bedroom and an even more giant bathroom all to myself. Daddy Amazing because he can be cool at times. Incubator Girl because she is incubating my nephew. (Right now that's all I can be thankful for with her. I'll work on it.) Scholastically Confused because she sends me really fucked up text pictures and we now have a secret text pictogram language. Tweeker who found Jesus because so far she has cleaned her life up and is making a really great effort at being a much better person, daughter, mom, and sister than she ever has in the past. And because she was accepted to college this past week. My grandparents because they are old and awesome. No Show No Call because he makes me laugh when I'm not irritated with him. New Orleans guy because no matter what mood I'm in he will listen to everything I have to say and he always knows the exact right thing to say to make me feel better not only about the situation but about myself also. And he likes my boobs.
I can be nice and I can be in a good mood. I swear.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
sometimes the best advice comes from a simple place
I've been having some trouble lately with family. My expectations don't match theirs. Recent events mean that I am moving out of my apartment and into my sisters house. While this is a good thing because it means a lot more room for Flight Risk, her bf, and I it also means that I am again on Shop-a-holic's agenda. I can't figure out if I am being selfish or logical by expecting things like a time line of when she will be packed and moved out. No one else in the family seems to have my affinity for making detailed plans for events.
This semester I decided to take on more classes then normal because I'm so close to graduating. Taking on all these classes means that I have an exam every two weeks. Fortunately three of the classes I am taking are sciences classes and they tend to all teach close to the same thing which means I get a lot of repetition. However, that does not mean that I can afford to not study. In fact, it means that I need to study more so I don't confuse the information. But because I am not on my own agenda I can't get anything done when I want to. So, I spend a lot of time pissed off and stressed out about things that I can not change.
The other day I came across this quote from Mr. Emerson and it reminded me that I can't change what happened yesterday so I need to move on. I need to accept what happened. As long as I do what I have to do throughout the day then I should be happy once the day ends. And tomorrow I don't need to look back and wish that I had done something differently.
Because it doesn't matter and I can't change it.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
This semester I decided to take on more classes then normal because I'm so close to graduating. Taking on all these classes means that I have an exam every two weeks. Fortunately three of the classes I am taking are sciences classes and they tend to all teach close to the same thing which means I get a lot of repetition. However, that does not mean that I can afford to not study. In fact, it means that I need to study more so I don't confuse the information. But because I am not on my own agenda I can't get anything done when I want to. So, I spend a lot of time pissed off and stressed out about things that I can not change.
The other day I came across this quote from Mr. Emerson and it reminded me that I can't change what happened yesterday so I need to move on. I need to accept what happened. As long as I do what I have to do throughout the day then I should be happy once the day ends. And tomorrow I don't need to look back and wish that I had done something differently.
Because it doesn't matter and I can't change it.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ever feel like your weekend is completely consumed by studying?
I guess I should change weekend to life. Because study time doesn't stop once Monday rolls around.
Dreamcrusher is super stressed out about giving Incubator Girl a baby shower. Incubator Girl has been not so easy to work with on arrangements. Mom picked an interesting venue for the joyful event and I'm 99.9% positive that Incubator Girl will complain. And since she is not a good southern girl she will not keep her displeasure to herself. Hopefully my mothers hours of hard work at raising ME to be a good southern girl will pay off and I don't go white girl crazy on the only sister-in-law I have and create conflict between me and the only brother I have. I can be nice on occasion. I swear.
Flight Risk and her bf (I need a name for him since he has made a couple of appearances here) have come up with an interesting idea. His grandparents are even bigger gamblers than mine and are currently going around the country visiting casinos and racking up points on gambling cards for him, Flight Risk and myself. By mid-October the three of us should have 600 points apiece. BF came up with the idea that we should head to New Orleans and stay at Harrah's. Flight Risk has never been to NOLA so Bourbon Street will be an interesting adventure with her.
As you know I met a guy in New Orleans on my last trip with Shop-a-holic. I've been really hesitant to write about him for a couple of reasons. The number one being that he actually takes time out of his busy life to read what I write on here and it's a little odd to me to talk about someone knowing that they will read what you say. But since we have talked pretty much everyday since we met I feel like I should mention him every now and then since he has become a part of my life. He makes me laugh and he likes my boobs. Not much more you can ask for in a guy right?
With that said, eventually he will get a nickname but I have to think about it because he deserves a good one. And with Flight Risk and BF's brilliant plan of taking our points to New Orleans for the weekend I invited him to join us. Nice that we will get to go back to the place that we met. This time around I plan on being a little bit more sober and in a better mood since I'm not being forced to go with a group of girls that I don't really want to be with.
And of course this wouldn't be an entry unless I have something to avoid. I just finished two quizzes for Technical Writing and I have a quiz I need to do sometime soon for Cell Bio along with reading two chapters about DNA and DNA replication and coming up with 6 questions for each of those chapters to bring to class on Tuesday. New Orleans guy just asked me if I wanted to video chat (I can do that now that I have a Mac) when I finish homework. He obviously doesn't realize that homework never ends.
Dreamcrusher is super stressed out about giving Incubator Girl a baby shower. Incubator Girl has been not so easy to work with on arrangements. Mom picked an interesting venue for the joyful event and I'm 99.9% positive that Incubator Girl will complain. And since she is not a good southern girl she will not keep her displeasure to herself. Hopefully my mothers hours of hard work at raising ME to be a good southern girl will pay off and I don't go white girl crazy on the only sister-in-law I have and create conflict between me and the only brother I have. I can be nice on occasion. I swear.
Flight Risk and her bf (I need a name for him since he has made a couple of appearances here) have come up with an interesting idea. His grandparents are even bigger gamblers than mine and are currently going around the country visiting casinos and racking up points on gambling cards for him, Flight Risk and myself. By mid-October the three of us should have 600 points apiece. BF came up with the idea that we should head to New Orleans and stay at Harrah's. Flight Risk has never been to NOLA so Bourbon Street will be an interesting adventure with her.
As you know I met a guy in New Orleans on my last trip with Shop-a-holic. I've been really hesitant to write about him for a couple of reasons. The number one being that he actually takes time out of his busy life to read what I write on here and it's a little odd to me to talk about someone knowing that they will read what you say. But since we have talked pretty much everyday since we met I feel like I should mention him every now and then since he has become a part of my life. He makes me laugh and he likes my boobs. Not much more you can ask for in a guy right?
With that said, eventually he will get a nickname but I have to think about it because he deserves a good one. And with Flight Risk and BF's brilliant plan of taking our points to New Orleans for the weekend I invited him to join us. Nice that we will get to go back to the place that we met. This time around I plan on being a little bit more sober and in a better mood since I'm not being forced to go with a group of girls that I don't really want to be with.
And of course this wouldn't be an entry unless I have something to avoid. I just finished two quizzes for Technical Writing and I have a quiz I need to do sometime soon for Cell Bio along with reading two chapters about DNA and DNA replication and coming up with 6 questions for each of those chapters to bring to class on Tuesday. New Orleans guy just asked me if I wanted to video chat (I can do that now that I have a Mac) when I finish homework. He obviously doesn't realize that homework never ends.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Who can blow forty five hundred dollars in just a few hours? This girl!
Grant money came in yesterday and I have already spent about three grand. Ugh. First cell bio exam is the Tuesday after labor day. Ugh.
Incubator girl was released back to work yesterday. She can return to her normally scheduled program but with light activity. She wants an $800 car seat and stroller. Excessive much.
Shop-a-holic was promoted at work so Flight Risk and I will be moving into her house since she will be moving to Florida. Which means that I don't have to deal with a piss ant dog pissing all over my stuff. And I get a house. Bye-bye pesky, noisy, nosy neighbors and bitch ass landlady. And crappy maintenance guy. And burnt up hot water heaters. Hello privacy, my own bathroom, and my own closet with out a washer and dryer in it!
I bought a new computer yesterday. It's an Apple Macbook Pro. I am so flipping excited! I can't wait for it to get here. I even paid the express shipping fee so it would be here in 24 hours.
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