200 beer samples for $25?! I'm in!

I'm pretty sure that this has been the most exciting summer of my entire life. Between school, work, fires, Shop-a-holic's crumbled relationship and Tadpoles shake up, I am damn tired!

Incubator Girl woke up bleeding about two weeks ago so Daddy Amazing rushed her to Labor and Delivery. I swear it took us about 10 minutes to drive about 30 miles. She is doing well and Tadpole is still kicking. I think he is going to be one of those kids that likes to keep the family on their toes. Not sure if I will be able to handle that. I know I will be giving him hell for the rest of my life for the scare we had.

Shop-a-holic wants to return to her childhood and relive how she spent her birthday weekend. She expects everyone to go to Atlanta next weekend for a fun filled adventure of Six Flags and a Braves game. I gotta tell you guys, fun filled and family are not two words that go in the same sentence in my vocabulary.  Plus, I don't care for Six Flags so there is no point in buying me a $35 ticket to just walk around.

School started back this week. What the fuck was I thinking taking on so many classes?! If I truly retain all of the knowledge being thrown at me the next couple of semesters then I should go on an all science game show and rack the fuck up.

Tonight is Beerfest. Flight Risk is currently asleep along with her bf and bff. If they bail on me tonight I might have the biggest breakdown of my entire life. So, I'm going to get in the shower and make lots of noise and hopefully it will wake them up. Otherwise, be prepared for an angry, white girl crazy entry in a couple of days.

Shop-a-holic's broken engagement means MY life is being disrupted

Family came back on Friday to offer support to Shop-a-holic since the wedding should have been on Saturday. Fortunately, Shop-a-holic is doing fine. Unfortunately, her bitchy, selfish ways are back in full force.

I spent Saturday hauling the kid and Tweeker who found Jesus around doing back to school shopping for the kid. Do you know how many other people were out doing back to school shopping this past weekend? Hundreds. At first I thought a celebrity was going to show up at Target because otherwise there was no reason that many people should have been there. Along with dealing with all those people I had the privilege of listening to Tweeker bitch and moan about not being home and in her bed. As if she is the only one being inconvenienced by the entire family being back in Mobile. The kid was actually pretty good. Not as much know-it-all attitude as the weekend before.

Sunday was spent helping Random Money Giver and Dream-crusher build a privacy fence at Shop-a-holic's house. Shop-a-holic was not there for any of this. She did not help one little bit with the tedious, back breaking work at all. Parents were incredibly disappointed and surprised by how she acted. Had they known she was apparently not upset with her engagement ending they would have not spent an entire weekend building a fence for her.

On top of all that I was informed that I need to be out of my apartment by October 1st and moved in with Shop-a-holic. So, since her obviously stellar, stable relationship with Douche did not work out I now have to completely disrupt mine and Flight Risks life because Shop-a-holic bought a house with a man that didn't stick around. She can afford it but she wouldn't be able to eat after paying all the bills. So, I get to move into a god-awful blue bedroom and share a house with a sloppy, slothful, selfish brat that has a dog that refuses to use the bathroom outside no matter how long he is out there. I will now have to clean up after a piss ant dog, share space with someone that does not understand what a broom and mop is, and force a really good friend into finding new living arrangements. Somehow, I feel like I got the short end of this stick.

Today, I have the worst heartburn that I think I have every had. Tums are not even touching it. If I could rip my esophagus out right now I would. And to top it all off, I'm having an allergy attack that just won't quit. I'm pretty sure that if I could find that restart button, I would break it and stay in bed for the day.

How the fuck did I turn out so normal?

A couple of weeks ago I posted the number for the domestic violence hotline. Turns out I was writing that post for the wrong person.

Shop-a-holic and Douche broke up. A week and half before the wedding. His family is in town still and for some reason they don't feel that they should leave until the day of their flight. They are staying at Shop-a-holics house. Awkward.

So now my family has been in town for the past 3 weekends. I'm about to go insane. I swear if I kill them all it would be justifiable.

Dream Crusher, Tweeker who found Jesus, the kid and I went to the beach on Saturday. It took three hours. Dream Crusher could not understand why it took so long when the beach is only 60 miles from my house. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something extra bitchy to her.

Tweeker who found Jesus graduated from her program Friday. She spent the entire day Saturday obsessing about shit that MIGHT happen on Monday. I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up and worry about me not freaking the fuck out on everyone.

The kid spent the day arguing with everyone because apparently eight year olds know everything. I wanted to smack her just so she would shut the fuck up.

Shop-a-holic is being the cliched girl and hacking into Douche's facebook account so that she can see who he is talking to now that they have called the wedding off.

Oh, and did I mention that the family will be back this weekend? Yeah, they will all be back on Friday. And for some insane reason I'm planning on visiting them in about a week and a half. Why? I don't know. I'm going to visit with Daddy Amazing and Incubator Girl for the weekend so I will get away from them for a short amount of time.

I just want my house back to normal and the bull shit to all go away. Is that really too much to ask?